Feelings, nothing more than feelings

I had to take my guinea pig to the vet this morning. After hearing that she had lost about 5 ounces since her last visit two weeks ago, I began to cry. Her last visit was the day after our oldest guinea Pig, Alice, died suddenly after not eating for a day. A GP's weight loss is serious, since they only weigh a couple of pounds on average. I cried today for a lot of reasons, but most of them were a bit selfish - I just can't lose another piggie so soon.

As I checked out of the vet's office (with about $50 in meds and food supplements), I was still sniffling and tearful. I told the receptionist I felt a little silly getting so emotional about a small pocket pet. She reassured me that I was just being human and a good pet owner. She also said they have had people bring in their goldfish for evaluation, worried and tearful about losing them.

So I gave myself a break. Then I thought about how many times I have dismissed my daughter's feelings like I dismissed my own. It doesn't happen often, and I rarely do it out loud, but sometimes I think to myself, "Jeez, get over it! You're worried about a spelling test. Try paying a mortgage!"

One of my favorite comedians, Brian Regan, had a bit recently about how we don't put ourselves in a child's place as often as we should. He said, "I saw a kid let go of a balloon at the fair and then he cried when it floated away. His parents told him to 'calm down; it's just a balloon; we'll get you another one'. So I think to illustrate what this kid was feeling, I should've tied the dad's wallet to another balloon and let it go. That's what the kid was feeling right there."

In trying to be conscious of little people's feelings, I think it is important that we do have empathy and take seriously their fears, joys and other things. It's important that we guide them through those feelings, and help them work through them, but give them the significance and respect those feelings need.

One technique I've used with kids of all ages is just repeating what they say back to them. For example, when a kid says, "I'm scared." I just say, "Oh, you're scared? Okay." If a kid is missing their mom after being dropped off, I can just say, "You're missing your mom, aren't you?" After acknowledging their feelings, I can decide if they need a distraction or just to be left alone. And here's a little secret - sometimes I don't know what they need. If they're old enough, I ask them.

I suppose feeling scared about my little piggie is just that - a feeling. It's not a premonition, but just a feeling. I can act on that and take care of her and myself. And I can remember that losing a pet is a big deal. As Ghandi said, "You can tell a lot about a country by the way they treat their animals." I would add "and their children" to that.

Have a great weekend,

Miss Tara and Miss Leah